It's a few minutes to 2 am. I am exhausted and sick and tired of this stressing situation. I look forward to tomorrow evening because after that I'll be done with this and I can look forward to getting away from here for a bit over a month. If you know of the skit I'm putting on for Easter then you would most likely think that it was the stress in putting that on.
Actually that's not really true. I loved doing this and enjoyed hanging out with most of them. No most of the time I enjoyed hanging out with all of them. The only times I didn't were when there was a problem within me...ahem... Anyway...I'm sorry guys if I've been too harsh or anything!! I'm super sorry :(. I hope I didn't get you annoyed at me for being so tense..
The tangles of my heart, mind, and soul have been deeply involved in this skit. I have been constantly pulling myself in opposite directions until I'm in tatters and falling to pieces. It's not easy to deal with you being mad at yourself haha! :p. I know, I'm weird and most of the time I'm not crazy but I don't have the appropriate words to describe how I feel and it comes across that I'm a little mad..
You know like the fact that I get super angry at myself until I glare off into space and pound the air and sometimes pound the walls with controlled motions. In all truth I'm glaring at myself and getting up tight at my own fallen idiotic self :). I make weak descisions and say foolish things that most people won't notice, but I notice and demand better of myself. I'm working on it. You see, when I glare off into space I usually am moderately sure no one sees me but I picture the face I make to myself and so on..
I try and be very harsh with myself though I fail utterly...I let myself go to far. I am indulgent and spoil myself to the most unacceptable limits. I beg with myself and let do like a child who has a tanturm to get his way.
Your's (The Lord's) )Truly!(.
Amy
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