That's the question I've been asking myself lately. I mean, what is it that qualifies one to be considered a good writer? I practically just drip my thoughts all over a page in typed letters, and sometimes they come out making sense and other times they're a total mess. I just wonder how you become a good writer. What develops the quality?
I know a big part of it must be simple practice, but is there something more? Is the only way to improve is if I keep challenging myself to write new and stretching things? I don't know. All I know is that when I try and write something brilliant and make it as perfect as I possibly can I get a few scratched up words that don't sound at all natural. Writer's block is like a sheet of ice between me and the keyboard. I can't make anything sound right.
Then I look at these wonderfully written articles and I wonder where they get the words and the strength to put it down on paper in such a great way. I see all the pressure they must be under to get something good out and I really wonder how they stand up to it.
Perhaps I just have a fear of writing. A fear of not measuring up to my dream and that's what inhibits me. I wonder almost every day if I have what it takes to be a writer. I'm realizing more and more how much courage and strength is needed to step forward and curl your hand around the pen that will shape your future. I want to know if I have what it takes! I long to understand what gift I have been given by God. What part did he give me and what part do I have to work at with fierce determination to reach. Do I really have what it takes to write?
I feel a fire inside that burns with longing. I want to understand. I want to learn. I want to find out if this is really what God wants me to be. It's like a song I know goes. A sea of insecurity rages inside of me. Can I take the challenge of writing a novel into my hands and really make it a reality? And after that will it be of enough quality to be enjoyed by others?
I want to know! Is everything I've been dreaming about for so long a simple fancy? Writing seems far more difficult than so many other professions. It seems to take twice as much courage and four times as much determination. There are so many people out there trying to make a mark on the world and yet few make it very far. Thousands upon thousands of people dream the same dream I have since I was little, but how many succeed?
I only must be certain that this is the call of God on my life and then I will have something much greater on my side than most of those people. I will have a loving, caring God who knows what is best for me far better than I know myself. I don't know if I can write. I don't know if I have what it takes. But I do know that God will always be on my side.
It's just that ever since I started reading books about writing (a favorite former hobby) I kept seeing two things that rather bugged me. One, all these writers began when they were so young. They started writing at ages 7, 9, 10, 12. And I don't mean writing in the sense that they occasionally wrote a little ditty. These were the ages they began to journal and journal quite frequently.
In my heart and mind I struggled to begin to journal. I knew I needed to write because of number two, they're one always common advice was, practice, practice, practice! In other words, write, write, write! Only now do I begin a blog in earnest and I hope I can get back into fictional writing.
Therein lies my heart. I have a story to tell. A story that takes place in a world very near to my heart and yet very far from this earth. I don't believe I can ever measure up to the great Authors of the world, C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, but I do believe I have something to offer the world.
My one hope that keeps me holding onto my dreams, is the desire that rises in me on a rare occasion to write and write with a fury of inspiration. I want to put so much emotion into what I write. I believe writing is like any other art. It takes someone brave and at the same one someone who is willing to express their deepest feelings in a way that can express what others don't have the words to say.
I need to go do school now so I'm just going to post this up. Sorry haven't been so artsy lately. I'll try and post some more colorful and artistic posts later.
Your's (The Lord's) )Truly!(.Amy
