Night-time Words

I'm weak. Weaker, perhaps, than I used to be, or perhaps, only knowing more about myself now than I did then. It flip-flopped in my mind as I lay on my bed. The whir of air-con and fan brushing against my senses unconsciously.

I'm thoroughly addicted to media. I tried going on a semi-fast and was too weak to manage it very well. Now that it's over I've gone at it like a child knowing his mother's upstairs hits the cookie jar. I take one bite, nibbling a gooey chocolate chip and chewy cookie, then it's all up with me. I want more and more and more. More until I forget my better intentions to have a productive, light and joy filled evening writing and dreaming.

It's a terrible thing.

I want my peace! I want to be that Christ-like girly without gulping down luke-warm indulgence, and gnawing at stale bread-of-idleness. God help me, (and I mean that very literally) I want to be a joyful thing. I want to cook and clean with all the viggor I sometimes feel.

I need you God.

I want you. I want your help.

Make me willing, make me humble, help this disease.

Break my addictions.

P.S. My other blog is starlikeyes.wordpress.com if you'd like to read more often posts.