I'm feeling really down at the moment. I think what this whole thing has been for me is a warning. More like several warnings. 1) If I don't save my work my carelessness can easily cost me a lot of pain. 2) I think this is a warning in a small way of what it will feel like if I don't finish the amount of the Nimi story that I need to get done before the time runs out.
I need HELP!!!
This year has been the most eventful year so far. In the first month I, 1) dislocated my kneecap, 2) had a portrait of a friend of mine thrown away (but that ended up being positively hilarious to me simply because of who threw it way...) 3) was given inspiration for a wonderful story, wrote SEVEN pages...and then had that story go down the drain because my MESSED UP laptop decided to shut down instead of going to sleep =.="'
I have a few more but I don't really want to put them up here.
Now I believe that there is a place in heaven where all our broken dreams, lost hopes, abandoned promises, buried treasures, forgotten adventures are waiting for us to go find out how much more beautiful they are there than they every could have become here. I'm in a sad mood...
The one thing I long for now is inspiration of the likes of last night. It isn't the time I spent on it I miss. It's the display of my inspiration that I miss and want back. It is my pride. As the saying goes my pride and joy. Isn't that interesting that we put those two things together? Sometimes the pride we have in things brings us joy. That's what I really lost. The fruit of my small labors and large inspiration. I lost the thing I would have loved to show off. I could have said the things i would love to share, but more than anything it was my pride that made me want to have something wonderful to show off to people.
Does this mean I should stop writing like that? NO. NO NO NOO. I need to press on and forge a way where all the paths that were easily transversed are now hidden beneith brush and snow and leaves and everything. I must forge ahead and it will make me a better person.
As we learned in DG this week. This is how I like to sum up the main point he wanted to get across to us. Procrastination is for Tomorrow, Perseverance is for Today. Or something like that. The idea he wanted to get across was that the small things we start doing now will help begin forming good habits that we can reap benefits in the future.
Another way he put it is this. Every time you put something off the harder it becomes to really start doing it, but then every time you do it 'now' the easier it will be to do it next time you need to. And every time you do it when you don't feel like it you gain a little more control on your habit and a little more self control.
These are thing I want. Oh and one other cool thing that is very encouraging to me. It takes up to 6 months to form a good habit. You may be thinking, 6 months?!?!?! how can that be encouraging?? but it is. I've tried doing things but never got into the habit. Now that I know what it would take to solidify a habit it might be easier to keep going because it's no longer a "forever" until I get the good habit, it now has a timeline.
This is the second post that I'm not going to even look over but just post. I hope you like it.
Amy
No comments:
Post a Comment