Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been preoccupied and when I do write it's been while I'm away from my computer. Yesterday I had the most glorious time in the park. I just went out there at around 4 in the afternoon, set up a blanket and relaxed into the place I have now found to call my own sort of refuge. It's not in the secluded cool glade in the middle of a peaceful forest right along side a flowing brook, as I'd always imagined it, but it is wonderful all the same.
Whew! That was a long and probably not very grammatical sentence. Anyway, as I sat in the shade of a small tree, I found a lot to think about. My aspirations and hopes rose on the soft summer wind. I believe I am going to write Malaysia into one of my stories--not as Malaysia mind you but as somewhere else with all sorts of things that are from Malaysia. Unlike Narnia where it was the country that had a winter for a hundred years, it will be a land that had a summer for a thousand years.
While I was there I thought and wrote about two people. They are very different and I like one and desperately love the other. While I wrote about the one I found I thought about the other mixed in. But when I began to write about the other the one really fades in comparison. I think, if there is one thing I have learned from this whole strange situation, it is how much the other deserves first and foremost place in my heart for ever and always.
I hope you can follow this, but if not I can tell you that the Other is my Lord and my Savior. Jesus must fill my heart with all good desires and teach me everything worth knowing in this world. He will lead me through bogs of despair and discouragement and dance with me in fields of inspiration and laughter. He will carry me across the desert sands and protect me in the wilderness. Over me will he watch as I sleep by the streams of peace in times of strife. Everything that is good comes from him and nothing that is evil is a part of him. No one can understand me better, not even myself. This is what I will remember. This is what I will hold to.
He provides me with all good things and will help me rid myself of the evil and despicable that lurks in the deep corners of my heart. He will make me brave when I need it most, and be my strength when I am at my weakest. On him I will lean for everything. In everything he will never let me be alone. When I sin he will grieve with me. When I resist he will rejoice over me.
In everything He is my life. And as he gave his life for me I will offer mine to his. Never will he ask me to do something that I am not capable of doing. And on everything that I feel that I cannot do he will give me the tools and strength that I need to do it. When I am apathetic he will send someone to wake me up, and when i stray he will shine out his truth like a beacon from a lighthouse.
In times when I have no one to talk to, no one to cry with I can turn to him. He will understand better than I can explain it. He will never turn me away. Never be to tired, or angry, or annoyed to turn me away. And he is more than just all these things. He is a mighty and awesome God. Someone to be feared because he does have the power to judge and does not take lightly any of the sins we make. He is filled with justice and would not, could not pardon us from all our iniquities. All the things that separate us from him. So he came and died to fulfill the punishment we deserved. To make a way that we could have access to him and all the things that make him sooo wonderful!
And you know what is the most amazing of all? He's not only perfect and the greatest awesomest person in the universe (I'm not exaggerating here. He really is!) he also loves me passionately. He is willing to do anything and he has already done everything to make sure there is away that I can be with him.
When I run from him, he will run faster to catch me. When I am broken, he will heal me. When I am hungry or thirsty I will find everything to satisfy me in him. All this and infinitely more am I beginning to see in him. Guilt is something that can bring me to him or drive me from him. I need to repent and then to forgive, all. Them and myself..
See? Isn't he worth everything in the world to give to him and much much more? You might be saying, Well yeah, if he was all that. Who could ask for a better guy? But come on...don't you find him being able to do all that kinda ridiculous? No. No I don't. I believe with all my heart and soul that he is not only capable of doing all that stuff, but that he is doing all that stuff.
Man I really wish I had the time to go through and brighten this post up a bit, but I really want to get it posted and I need to go out for lunch soon. Anyway Tata for now!
Your's (The Lord's) )Truly!(.
Amy
P.S. I might not be writing for a while cuz I've really got to focus on me schoolin'. So I'll drop a hi later and tell you a bit about all my wonderful times with friends! (and the skit I'm putting together. Right now mainly I need to Memorize memorize memorize!!)
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