Iron in the Fire

Lately a lot of thoughts have flooded my mind. I've been asking myself; what is friendship? What is companionship really? How do you develope friendships and can you be friends with people that you don't seem to click with right away? Should it just be left alone if it didn't work out at first? Do you just let it develop naturally? And if it doesn't does that mean it was a friendship that was never meant to be?

How about the fact that I want to be friends with someone that it would take a lot of extra work to create that friendship. Should I just leave it be, supposing that perhaps it wasn't the kind of friendship I was meant to have? All these questions. Few answers. Well in any case, I'm going to leave it for a month and see what happens after that.

Once I'm totally rid of my own personal sentimentality then maybe. Maybe I'll be able to have a simple and yet productive friendship. That's all I think I should have for now. Friendship. My heart has been seeking something deeper and i think that is because I haven't been fulfilling the relationship I should have with my Master. God.

He really should be the center of my life. Right now.. He isn't. But I hope to remedy that. I really want to grow closer to him. Draw near to his heart, be like iron put into the flame to come out red hot. That was the vision I had when I was praying with my best friend a few days ago.

It was like I saw a big fire like one that you find in a blacksmiths furnace. A long strip of metal was sticking out of the fire. A hand, the hand of the blacksmith (in this case God I suppose) who was working it took the piece from the fire. With a large hammer he started pounding it into shape, but, you see, the point of this was not that he could shape it. It was that after he had pounded it for a while he would have to put it back in the fire because it had lost its glow.

I was realizing that for a long while I've been outside of that fire. Since, I've been away from that fire I've lost my red hot glow and the blows from the hammer are no longer affecting me. I can't live away from the fire and expect to be on an edge with God. Never setting aside time to be in his presence but expecting him to still be very close in my mind. I've been turning cold and hard.

I realized this because of what I'd been noticing for so long. I tried to address this in my last post but never got around to it. For a long time I've felt that the way I discern and understand things has been not firmly grounded in the word. I couldn't have described it this way before, but after talking to Eunice, now I can.

I remember a time when I saw and longed for intimacy with God. When I looked at how great people could get caught on one ideology and end up getting messed up by it. That's when I realized that we need to really, really know the word if we want to avoid those pitfalls. When we end up depending too much on ourselves or our own interpretation of God's word without really looking at his Word as a whole.

That's another thing that we really need. We need people. No one can keep totally strait without someone to help us. That's why the bible is full of fellowship. It's something everyone needs. We need people we can trust and depend on to keep our secrets, love us through our hardships, and be there for us in everything that we do. Everyone needs support, guidance, love, discipline, laughter, listeners. We all need others.

Imagine the world where everyone is individual; only ever looking out for themselves. Never being able to trust anyone. It seems like a dreary and forsaken place to be. What kind of life is there to live without good healthy interaction with other people.

Ok, I know this could end up being another one of those expansive unedited posts, but before it is I'll just stop. Again, I'd like to say that I'm sorry for a lot of my repetitiveness and bad wording and all the other things that make this so lack of good writing. I just know that the only way I'm going to get better is by doing this a whole lot. Because what I'm doing is simply typing just about as fast as the thoughts come to mind. (I'm learning how to slow down my thinking so I can get it into typed words ;).)

I would go through this and brighten it up with some fancy stuff and pretty colors, but I started late and I need to get some sleep cuz I've got a big day tomorrow. (Apryl's coming over YEA!) Well, Goodnight my dear friends and fellow humans...and maybe even an enemy or to. lol anyway as I get more informal at the end of my post

As Tigger would always say;

TTFN!

Your's (The Lord's) )Truly!(.
Amy